Tuesday, March 4, 2008

The Blog that is (or isn't) me

Blogs are funny things. I've found mine to be a wonderful vehicle for self expression and a way to decompress at the end of a long day when I have no adult contact. For those of you who don't know, I see my husband each morning, but am asleep when he gets home near midnight each night. So, blogging has provided me with an outlet.
What I've come to understand in the past few months is that blogs have their own personality. Several months ago I hadn't been talking with one friend very much, just reading her blog. I became concerned that perhaps this friend was drinking and partying too much. When I talked to her, she pointed out to me that that is the character of her blog; a party girl. What gets posted on her blog is the party details, because it's intended to be fun and light. The daily grind of work, clean, sleep etc. doesn't get recorded on her blog. Another friends blog is all about her baby; you'd think that she was obsessed.
My blog is about the difficulties (and sometimes joys) of being Adara's mom. It's personality is that of a slightly harried mom trying to figure out how this parenting thing works. On occassion, I'm sure it sounds like I'm ungrateful for this beautiful baby or unhappy in my life. This is not the case. The blog is a selective slice of my life; not my actual life.
What didn't get recorded in this last week of sickness and such, was me getting out of bed at 2 am to stare at my baby for 10 minutes and marvel at her little sleeping face. What didn't get recorded was the lovely old gentleman on the street who stopped to tell me how beautiful my baby was. What didn't get recorded was watching how startled she was when she rolled over against her will last week.
Blogs are like snapshots, there's no way to know what happened just before or just after...

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Kendra,

Ya know, these blogs are cathartic and keep you sane. We all know that you would fight off a tiger for Adara. We all know you are fed up with Feb and snow and poopy bumbs, but you LOve, love, love that babe.
Don't worry. We get the stress of being a mom. I think I told ya it sucked sometimes???
Love me

Anonymous said...

ah...it's march... doh!

Anonymous said...

...i see my blog in a similar way - it is unedited, one-sided and a deeply personal outlet. I allow myself to be vulnerable by letting family and friends have access to it...by doing so I place my trust in others not to judge me. My blog doesn't always reflect all the struggles I'm having - because MY journey works differently than yours - I need to keep the momentum going on our hectic life and it's a place I can log in that I'm keeping the ball rolling - this act helps me to keep all the balls in the air, even when I am despairing. I love that you feel safe enough around us eavesdroppers to share where you're at. Keep it up, Kendra!

Jenn said...

I love my blog as a way to sit down and decompress at the end of the day. If something nasty has happenend, it's nice to see sympathetic comments from others who have been through similar things. And nasty things DO happen - Motherhood isn't just lollypops and butterflies...and anyone who says it is is either a Stepford wife or a big fat liar! I think blogs are brilliant in that way - hearing about snotty babies and flying poop, we get to see the "uncut" version of motherhood, rather than the hollywood version.

Whether a blog is the entire you, or a little piece of you, it's still yours. I love reading it, and I love sharing mine with you!