My new job is also very challenging. There's good things about the challenges, but it's also incredibly stressful in a "this might all blow up tomorrow" kind of way. I also find that post baby, I'm just a different person. My emotions run wild, I'm easily upset by small things. Have other moms found this? Someone said to me that this happens for a few months when you stop breastfeeding and I'm seriously hoping that this is the cause. I've found myself to be snippy,discouraging and generally obstructive at work this week. If I was my boss, I would take me aside to talk about how to "modify behaviour and encourage me to be a team player again." Unfortunately, I am my boss, so I had that conversation with myself last night and had a much better day today. Only to have a rotten evening at home.
And then, there's my sweet angel. At dinner I'm completely exhausted and beside myself and Adara is screaming because she too is over tired and doesn't want to eat. And then, something must have told her that I was going to cry, because she just stopped. Then, she smiled her big open mouthed toothy smile at me and starting madly shaking her head from side to side; which she totally knows makes me laugh. My sweet Bella.
3 comments:
I hear you. It can all feel pretty overwhelming and like it's the most demanding time in your life. Looking back, it WAS the most demanding time. A HUGE adjustment. Try to keep it as simple as possible and get your rest when you can. It does get easier...honest!/SP
It will get better. You will figure out what you need to do to cope - both at work and at home. Working opposite shifts as your partner does not help and I have found those times the hardest. We always tried to spell each other off, take turns as much as possible. But what is most important is to accept that some (most) nights, the best you can do is mix up some KD for your kids or give them a bag of pretzels and tell them to eat their 'supper' in front of a movie while you collapse into a puddle in the corner and twitch and jitter until bedtime. I learned to let go of my 'home' agenda. When you're that tired, it's OK to just go to bed with your kid. Leave the dishes in the sink (or the pretzel bag on the sofa) and just do what's most important - get you and your kiddo(s) to bed. As for work. make sure your boss reminds you to take time for you and give yourself a break. This is a big, new job...and you're out of practice! Courage, my love!
Thanks for the kind words guys. It does help to know that I have people in my corner.
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