I've been thinking a lot this weekend about feminism and being the mom of a gorgeous blond little girl. There's been a series of things that have brought this to the forefront.
First up, Adara's new soccer class. She's in the 4 to 7 year old age group this time which is much more serious and actually uses soccer skills. She's the only girl in a group of eight kids. When I asked her after her first class this weekend if she noticed what was different and what the same between her and her team mates she talked about shirt colours, kicking ability and how much they did or didn't whine when kicked. No mention of gender, so I didn't mention it either. She held her own although there was one seven year old who had a killer soccer kick, hard hitting and fast. As a side note, moms, what do you do when one kids skills are so far ahead that it's actually a bit dangerous for everyone else? Not his fault at all and he's a lovely kid who doesn't shoot at people's faces, but this kid has one serious boot. Thoughts on that?
Second up, we were making a cake and decorating it with our new cake decorating kit yesterday. Adara and I like to bake together, it's our thing. We like mixing and making a mess and decorating. We don't actually eat most of it, we give it away since none of us has a huge sweet tooth. So, after making and decorating the cakes, Len was cleaning out the icing bag for me. He hasn't had much time with Adara lately so I suggested that he go play with her and that I'd clean up. To which Adara responded with "Yeah mamma, it's your job to clean up this big mess, Dadda and I are going to go play". I was trying decide whether to react to that or not, when Len did, gave her heck for telling me to do all of the work and asked her to apologize. She did and we went on with the afternoon. Now, if she and I had been playing and she'd told Len to clean up, would we have reacted the same way? Was it the traditional role models that set us off or the bossy pants tone?
And finally, this morning she says to me "Sometimes girls can be scientists, right?" To which I said "Yes, your cousin Lana is a scientist, you can be too." But why the "sometimes". Girls can be scientists all of the time. Why "girls" and not just "Sometime I could be a scientist, right"? What does that mean.
Thoughts on this moms?
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3 comments:
Hmmm...The power of words eh?
First re: soccer. Not much you can do about the kid who is so much better unless the rules of your soccer association allow kids to play "up" a year. So that seven year old would be encouraged to play with the 8 year olds. Might not work if it's 8 to 12 year olds. Not fair to the wee seven year old. In our league you only have kids within a two year age range.
Re: feminism and kids. Teach by example whenever you can, don't obsess too much. You did a good job with these incidences. You'll have lots of them!
I'm flattered you use me as a role model for Adara. We all know she can and will do anything she sets her mind to!
-LP
As a parent, I'm all about being well rounded regardless of gender :) /SP
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