So, I sold my Toyota Rav 4 Tonight.  We listed it on Craigslist, had an email 10 minutes later and 30 minutes later it was sold, cash.

I should be,and in some ways am, happy about this.

However, cars are often symbolic. 

 I purchased this car five and a half years ago, at a particular moment in my life.  I was transitioning from my stage management life to my administrative life, I hadn't decided if I was staying with Len or not, I was all about myself and my career and what I wanted.  I bought the car, and proceeded to spend three years running around southwestern ontario, visiting people, camping, going to parties, running from job to job and generally living life as a twenty something. It was a standard , and I loved mastering the operation of it.  It was an awesome car, never a problem with it.  I was in a seven car pile up on one winter morn in Toronto,and only my car drove away from it. I drove over massive snowbanks with it, and Lyndee and I got it stuck at the beach and pushed it out of the snow on our own.  I loved this car with an unholy passion.  It became a symbol of my freedom and independence. It was, and remains, the only thing of any real value that I have bought, paid for and owned on my own.  Yes, I own a portion of my house, furniture, etc.  But, I owned that car outright, it was mine. 

Just before the baby was born, people started to point out to me that the car had 325,000 clicks and a somewhat dodgy clutch and brakes.  This was true, and fixable, but we didn't have the cash, and weren't convinced that it was worth investing the money.

 So, we took it off the road when the baby was born, borrowed my moms car and debated about what we wanted to do with it.  Tonight I sold it to an extremely slick early twenty something gino (italian boy) who knew a lot about cars and was studying to be a lawyer.  He arrived in 30 minutes and paid in cash.  He was hot, and had ridiculously cool shoes and I know that my car will have fun with him.  But I miss it already.

I drove away from my wedding in this car, I went to the hospital in labour in this car and I brought my baby home in this car.  I cried when he left. 

So, now it's really goodbye to the twenties (at thirty one!) and the me me me days.  Sayonara, Adios, Au revoir, I'll miss ya my sweet Rav 4!

 

Look, I've learned a new game!

Check out my Shoes!

Thanks Cousin Liam, cool shoes!

Comedy of Errors/ Adara's as Smart as Her Cousin

Tonight's bath time was a bit of a comedy of errors. I carried Adara over to the little bath tub which rests in the sink, pulled away the cloth diaper around her and she peed all over me. Then I put her in the tub, and she promptly reached down and pulled out the plug. Thinking that this was a funny error, I tried to refill the tub from the tap. It was a bit too hot (don't worry not burning hot) and Adara started screaming. So, I took her out and wrapped her in the towel to calm her; and she peed on it. I refilled the tub, got a new towel and put her back in. She promptly pulled out the plug and smiled beautifically at me. I put the plug back in. She pulled it out and growled at me. I said "Ok bath time over baby girl; out you come!"
The End

Dear Environment

Dear Environment:
Lately I've begun to feel that our relationship is somewhat one sided. Don't get me wrong, you're lovely and all, with your birds and blue skies and sunshine, and the like; but I feel a little bit like I'm the giver lately. I try and use cloth diapers, hang out my laundry (and there's a lot of it!), take three minute showers (ok,maybe that's more 'cause of the baby), don't drive a car, hardly even take the ttc, use my rain water barrels, recycle, compost, and have high efficiency everything. I can't help but notice that all of these things that I do for you, they take me a lot more time to do. Really, a lot more. And I liked long hot showers, I really did. However, I've done this all for you, lovely environment. So, I gotta ask; What have you done for me, lately?

Environment: "Sustain all life on the earth."
Me: "Oh. Right. Nevermind."

Bouncing Baby

So, the title of this post is a bit of gallows humour. I dropped Adara today. She's fine, don't worry, screamed her guts out for a minute and a half, had some milk and recovered. I'm kind of glad that that's done with, because it was inevitable that it would happen at some point. Those of you who don't have kids might be thinking "Inevitable, why? Are you a bad mother, tossing your baby around like some poor rag doll?" Those of you with kids are saying, "Yep. Either they fall off something or you drop them, it always happens." Babies are really wriggly, and they throw their great, fat, heads around with abondonment. They usually do this when you are most off guard.

We were outside and she was playing and I was working on the garden. She was getting fussy, so I thought that I'd put her in the side pack and we'd water the plants together. She loves running water, so I thought that the watering can up close might be particularly exciting. So, I put the waist strap on with the velcro, put her in the pack and was working on doing up the clip that is the safety on the waist strap. Stupid, I know. She gave an almighty head toss backwards, the velcro let go and she fell from waist height onto her right side on the grass, which is fortunately still quite spongey. She gave me a look as if I'd committed the ultimate betrayal, which, really, I had. On the upside, I think that she's fine and I'm fine; six hours later.

In the spirit of not overdramatizing this mommy mishap, I invite you to share your baby dropping/falling stories with me. C'mon people, I know it's happened to you! Grandmas, get in there and tell us about how you irreparably damaged us as well.
'Cause honestly, I'm feeling pretty bad about this one and need to hear that I'm not the worst mother in the world!

Hangin' out with the Daddy

Clearly, someone must be shirtless at all times in Daddy World!

So much to say...

Been thinking about a lot of things today. First of all, my glorious day:
Woke at 9:45am to a perfectly quiet house as Len had taken the babe downtown to pick up the building permit. I ate breakfast, showered, had a cup of tea on the deck and got in an hour and a half of gardening before they returned at 12:30pm. All I have to say about this morning is that my husband rocks! I feel refreshed and rejuvenated and I got a heck of a lot of garden work done instead of eeking it out in little ten minute increments. Thanks Len, you're my hero! Then I headed out for my moms group for the afternoon and spent two lovely hours talking babies and work and such while eating greek confectionaries and drinking creamed earl grey tea. Delish!

So with all of that gardening time and walking time today, I got to thinking. There's all of this talk on cbc and on tv lately about simplifying your life, getting back to basics, etc. Tonight while giving the babe her final nightime feed, Oprah was on showing how people had scaled back. All of these people were all pleased with themselves that they had given up buying so many $1,000 shoes, were taking their lunches to work and making an occasional dinner at home, and had reduced their tv watching to an hour a day. This was all in the name of simplifying and finding happiness.

This got me wondering if I'm a complete freak or what? I have a hard time buying shoes that cost $150, buying lunch is something that I save as a once a month treat and dinner out is an OCCASION. I'm not saying this to say "woe is me, my life is so hard". What I'm saying is, I've already done all of these things and I still feel like life is pretty complex. When you've already scaled back your life as much as possible and tried not to "keep up with the joneses", what do you do next to find the much desired simplicity and happiness.

So, 'cause I'm nothin' if not a fixer, here's my list of how I'm continuing to simplify my life.
1) gardening, only when I want to,only when it's sunny and I feel like it, not cause I have to
2) reading my book on the front deck watching the foot traffic returning from work lives and feeling a little smug that for the time being, I am not
3) doing a little work for pay, here and there, because it feeds my soul and doesn't hurt the pocketbook
4) walking, always been a way to find clarity for me, always will be.
5) nuzzling the neck of my clean baby after her bath
6)cuddling up to my husband in the middle of the night
7) talking to my family, because I like them

That's my thoughts today on happiness and simplicity. Here's hoping that you find yours.

Happy Half Birthday Baby Girl

Hello Darling. Can that really be you in the picture, a mere two hours old? I found a little yellow sleeper this weekend that you wore when you were three weeks old and it made me cry. We've come an incredible distance. This past month, you've been an absolute joy and everyone is completely in love with you. You are full of giggles and curiousity and fun. You're also impatient, and have a nasty temper, much like both your mother and father. In short, you're a fighter and a character and a charmer too.

This past month you've mastered some pretty neat new tricks!

1) Waving: at anyone, but mostly at Grammy who taught you how

2) Rolling over. Everywhere, all of the time, and often as a means of locomotion. You particularly love doing this quickly and with force while we're trying to change your diaper.

3) Jumping. Again, all the time, on anything or anyone.

4) The stiff bodied refusal. Arms and legs straight as a nail and stiff, growling at us, in order to stop us doing anything that you don't like, or sometimes just to get a reaction.

5) Giggling. Lots and particularly when playing with daddy or Pappa.

6) Dropping things off your highchairs. 'Nuff said.

7) Eating. With great, glorious, loud, excitement.

Some other major moments this month have included petting your first cat and going to your first business meeting. You didn't think much of the business meeting (much crying and pooping...) and when the cat licked you, you screamed in terror. Guess that you're not going to be a vet.

With the sun starting to come out, Mamma and you have been everywhere this past month. In strollers and cars, side packs and slings, we've done it all. We've been to the ROM with auntie, where you observed the plebs from your sling while placidly sucking back a bottle. We've been clothes shopping and out to lunch and tea more times then I can count. We've been to the homeshow, where daddy had to strip you naked and run you under the taps to get you clean in the mens bathroom.

You've been a superstar, charming people everywhere we go. Except for the grocery store where you cry non-stop. Why, baby girl? If you tell me what's up, I promise I'll try to fix it, but mommy and daddy need to eat someday, so lets figure this one out, ok?

In this past month, Daddy and I really notice the transition from infant to baby. You're much sturdier and stronger and have marked preferences for certain toys, foods, games and people. Any day now we know that you'll be off and crawling.

This month I find myself feeling like you're growing up too fast. You're so sweet and good natured and lovable, that I long to hold onto these days when we can cuddle up on the couch together for a good long feed or nap.

Happy half birthday Bella Adara, I can't wait to see what the next six months hold.

Love, mommy and daddy

Away

Hello loyal readers.  I'm off to Goderich for a few days for the rest of this week.  My parents are still on dial up, so I'm thinkin' that they'll be no bloggin'.  Unless of course I steal dad's computer and go sit in a coffee shop on the square and steal some signal.  I might... don't put it past me. If not, catch 'ya next week!